Adventure is out there!!

When Sadie got her bike, we forgot the helmet. Once we finally got the helmet, she thought she was invincible. She even said, "I can ride my bike as fast as I want because I'm wearing a helmet now." I need to get that girl some body armour. She loves her helmet and wears it inside and out. I captured this shot when she was watching the squirrels and birds through her binoculars. Virginia offers quite a variety of birds and Sadie loves watching them from her window. What a view!!

Dinner for two

Chase had a scout camping trip so it was Abby and the kids for the weekend. Once we put Jack to sleep, Sadie and I had a romantic dinner for two at her little table. I love sitting at that table with her. We color together, paint together and watch the squirrels through the window. Sadie is such a talker I just listen to all she has to say. I love that little girl.

Duck Beach 2010

It's been three years since our last trip to Duck Beach. Just like our last visit, we vacationed along with about 700 young single adults from the church. It's always fun to go to the ward building and see the hallways lined with people. I'm sure a fire marshall wouldn't be pleased but they do it every year anyway. The hallways are lined because every single classroom, kitchen and library is full of people.

The single women were all over our little Sadie and Jack. It's like they had never seen a baby before. Watching all these women dote over my children really made me appreciate that I wasn't "out there" anymore. Chase and I thought it would be funny to hide our rings to see how many people would ask for our phone number, but then we remembered how annoying it really is and decided to just cuddle instead. I love my man!!

So the drive down was pretty good. Sadie just watched her movies the whole time and Jack fell asleep right as we hit the road. He got a little cat nap and woke up about 30 minutes later when we hit Memorial Day traffic. It made for a longer drive but he finally fell asleep about an hour before we arrived at our beach house.

As a parent I can't figure out why car manufacturers don't put the sound proof window between the front and back seat of ALL family vehicles. This shouldn't be an exclusive amenity reserved only for limousines. I WANT ONE!! They could cry all they want and I would monitor them in my rear view mirror. It would be heavenly. I also think that if they knew we couldn't hear them, they wouldn't whine as much. THE WHINING!!! I CAN'T STAND THE WHINING!!


We arrived Saturday night so Sunday we just lounged around the house after church and went to the light house in Duck. Other than the human eating horse flies, it was a pleasant evening. We saw a lot of crabs in the water and Sadie threw rocks in the bay, of course. Sadie made some necklaces and bracelets with Grace and we were all advised to wear them the whole trip. It was pretty cute that she just put one bead on the ribbon. Normally you would make some sort of pattern with all the colors. Not Sadie. She just picked out a pink bead and that was all that was needed.

Sadie LOVED the beach. She was always a little timid when we lived in San Diego. I don't know if it was her age or just that the water along the Pacific is substantially colder than the East Coast.
She completely wore herself out every day. With the beach to entertain along with the pool and hot tub her eyes were bright red from the wind, salt and water and she collapsed into her bed every night. The best part about vacationing with cousins is that she is now old enough to sleep in the "bunk bed" room. This means that when she wakes up, she doesn't wake us up. She just plays with her cousins. Hallelujah!!

I can't say the same about little Jack. He slept in a crib right by our bed and was awake at the crack of dawn every morning. This wouldn't have been so bad if the Cannon's weren't so much fun. We stayed up WAY too late and paid for it the next morning. I usually get a sore throat when I don't get enough sleep so I sounded like a chain smoker the entire trip.

We mostly just sat around and talked after the kids went to bed but every once in a while we were entertained by CC's hilarious version of the Name Game or Curtis' ridiculously funny, knee slapping, tear jerking rendition of Joseph Smith History in about 30 different accents. We just kept shouting out a different accent while he read and he immediately changed character. It was awesome and made me laugh so hard there were tears rolling down my face. I'd never heard anything like it. It was like Robin Williams was reading the scriptures. I hope we weren't being sacrilegious by laughing while Curtis read to us from the scriptures, but I like to think God was chuckling a little as well. How could you not...it was ridiculously funny!!














Our biggest accomplishment was the building of our sand castle the last day. We spent hours making it perfect. Curtis had the idea to accessorize the walls with the drippings of sand. Jenna made some awesome platforms and look out towers. I fashioned some stairs with sticks and made some pretty cute little gate's for the bridge. We had the kids decorate with the sea shells and were so proud of the finished product we were sad to leave it knowing it would be washed away by morning.

I had high hopes of getting a family picture taken while at the beach but the thought of getting everyone showered and sandless was too much to bare at the end of the day. So this is the best we got. I actually really like it. I especially love Chase's grin from ear to ear. Doesn't he just look like the happiest guy on the planet. I love him!

We could pretty much count on Jack passing out around 3 p.m. every day on the beach. After swimming in his pool for a while he just stopped smiling (very strange for Jack) and we knew he was in need of a little snuggle. So fun!! Quite possibly the best part about having a baby...they are small enough to nuzzle into your arms for a little afternoon nap.
There is something extremely creepy about crabs. They are like spiders to me, just bigger with googly eyes. One night Chase and I took a flash light down to the beach to see if we could find any big ones. I spent the entire time on Chase's back because I was too worried about one of them scurrying over my toes (or perhaps clamping down on them with it's claws:-) Poor Chase had me squirming up his back while he tried to hold me and the flashlight. We saw a HUGE one and I was ready to go back in. Yikes, those things are scary.

Sadie and Grace did EVERYTHING together. Sadie pretty much idolizes Grace and asks to play with her just about every day. She talks about being 7 like Grace and can't wait to wear 7 year old clothes. Grace was a great friend to her which made the trip fun for everyone else:-)

Most of us were pretty tuckered out at the end of the day but you could always catch Pops snoring in a chair at any given moment. I wish I could sleep like that. What a fun trip. Until next time.

My Dad

Sadie loves it when I tell her stories; especially the ones about Grandpa. Of course I have dramatized them a bit and switched things around for effect, but every time I tell her these stories it makes me love Dad even more. One of my fondest memories of my Dad is when I was an over-emotional (still am) teenager and after getting in a fight with Nick (this was a usual occurrence in our home) I ran to my room and locked the door behind me as I threw myself on the bed in tears. I felt the longer I stayed in there and felt sorry for myself the better. After a few minutes I heard a subtle knock on the door. Thinking it was Nick for some additional older brother taunting I screamed "go away" at the top of my lungs. I then heard the sweet voice of Dad asking if he could come in and give me a hug. I was in the depths of despair that day and wanted to feel sorry for myself as long as possible. Through muffled tears I told him I wanted to be alone (when in reality what I REALLY wanted was a big hug from my Dad....wallowing just felt too good at the moment to admit it:-). Dad continued to coax me into opening the door and I continued to deny all proposals. It wasn't until about a half an hour later that I heard a bang at my window and saw two wooden slats appear. It was a ladder! Before I could stop him Dad climbed up the ladder, opened my window and gave me the biggest hug I had ever received in my whole life. I felt warm, safe, and most of all LOVED. He made me feel that the most important thing to him that day was to give me a hug no matter what!! That day he was my knight in shining armour.

Another favorite Grandpa story occurred while I was working as an intern in Washington D.C. I had flown home to see Nick come home from his mission and attend his homecoming. It was a great trip and when the weekend was over, it was time for me to head back to D.C. to finish up the semester. Dad took me to the airport. This was the year 2000 and airport security allowed anyone who had gone through security to see their loved ones off at their gate. This occasion was usually only reserved to see a missionary off. I said goodbye to my Dad at the ticket counter and headed up the stairs to go through security. As I approached my gate there was a HUGE family there saying goodbye to one of those such missionaries. Seeing their grief and sadness completely overwhelmed me because I thought of how hard it is to part from one's family for even a short amount of time. It was at that time as I sat mourning with strangers (who was this weird girl?) that I felt a tap on my shoulder and there was Dad. He decided to give me a proper send off after all. It was perfect timing and he must have known how sad I was. I like to think he had a "Hazel's Mother" moment who on the other side of town something told her Hazel needed her (gotta love that Rosemary Wells). Although I didn't know it at the time something told Dad that Abby needed him. He held me and gave me a big hug again telling me how much I would be missed and again I felt LOVED.

With four daughters Dad has had no choice but to be a HUGE advocate to women. I think if he had lived in the time of women's suffrage, he would have walked right along side Susan B. Anthony. Being the Scout Master for several years, he was always taking the boys out on long weekend excursions. I was so jealous!! He raised me to be a little liberal and I felt that us girls should be able to go along as well. Why couldn't we be Eagle Scouts?! Dad always made up for it taking us girls backpacking all over the place from Hogan Fork, to Zions National park, or even a small hike up Millcreek canyon. The hike up was usually pretty tiresome but we never dared complain. Being the most strong and swift was the highest compliment you could get from Dad, for hiking was and is his favorite activity. We usually scared all wild life away while singing "The Hills are Alive" from the Sound of Music at the top our our lungs. And every time we saw a meadow, we'd sing the "dum dum da da" from the closing credits of Little House on the Prairie while running down the hill as Laura Ingles did.

Dad loved to serenade us with the Snow White version of "I'm Wishing" and it always got us laughing. Those were the happiest of times. Just hanging out with Dad in the great outdoors. We were definitely "daddy's little girls" and he made each and every one of us feel like we were his favorite. I know that more than anything all he would like for Father's Day is another trip down to Zions with his kids. Dad, nothing would make me happier.


Dad is totally against all forms of makeup. If we ever dared to apply even a touch of mascara or lip "goo" (as he called it) we were called "painted lady" over and over again. You had to have thick skin in the Etherington home because this teasing never really had an affect on us. Although we girls try to go as natural as possible, you'll still catch a little "paint" from time to time. I'll never forget this one time after Emily had returned home from her mission. He pulled me aside and in a voice of desperation he said "I need to tell you something." I was a little worried thinking that something terrible had happened. I geared myself up for the worst when he continued with "you need to talk to Emily about her mascara. She has so much on she could have two black eyes." Typical Dad moment. He hated make up more than he hated wearing a tie to church. It was of the upmost importance to get Emily "back to normal" since she had so recently returned from the tainted "mascara clad" country of Uruguay. To Dad we were his gorgeous "duchesses." He made us feel beautiful when we felt the ugliest (usually right when we woke up in the tent with matted down hair that smelled of a musty campfire).

When we were little it must have been a huge struggle to get us to clean our rooms. Dad made this fun by turning into General Juddopp (I think that was his name). After giving us about an hour (it usually took us longer...they were really messy rooms) he put his old army helmet on and we prepared to meet our General as we heard his rhythmic stomping coming up the stairs. We stood at attention and saluted as he "inspected" our rooms. While yelling out demands and criticizing our poor excuse for "clean" we always held back the giggles. It was definitely Mary Poppins' way of a little "sugar to help the medicine go down." Although the clothes weren't put away with a simple snap of the fingers, cleaning our rooms was never so much fun!!

When President Hinckley made the statement that girls were not encouraged to go on missions, my Dad took the statement really hard. It was especially trying because his oldest child, who was also his first daughter, was currently serving her mission at that time. I don't want to say Dad was angry at the prophet for saying this but felt that his girls were every bit as equal to his son, and with that they needed the spiritual and emotional growth that a mission provides just as much as an Elder. From that time forth he was determined to encourage all of us children whenever possible to serve a mission of our own. I always knew that if I decided to serve, my parents would be behind me 110%. When it was finally my turn to enter the MTC I was again overwhelmed with sadness. How could I possibly be away from my family for 18 months and handle all the rejection that I knew Spain would provide. While the entire room sang called to serve I looked around at the other faces in the room. Everyone was so happy. They were all singing with such vigor and excitement. At that moment, I wondered"who are these people. Aren't they sad?" I then turned and looked at my Dad who was sitting next to me and said "I want to go home." Dad could see the alarm on my face and said "you are going to be just fine." After saying goodbye to Chase that morning and my parents that afternoon, I was emotionally spent. But Dad was right. I knew he believed in me as did the rest of my family. As soon as I forgot myself and took advantage of the amazing opportunity for growth, I was better than "fine", I was happy and again I felt loved.


Dad will never know the profound influence he's had over all our lives. He was the one I went to in the middle of the night when the nightmares awakened a disturbing sleep. He rubbed my back when I was sick. He held me when I was sad. He blessed me when I felt discomfort. He cheered for me when I explored. He taught me to love challenges and try to find the growth within. He encouraged greatness and courage. He taught by example the importance of obtaining knowledge. He was my most devout writer on my mission. I scoured over his words almost like scriptures seeking wisdom from a man that had always been my main source. Dad has ALWAYS been there for me. He continues to be there for our children. No one can compete with Grandpa. Some sons-in-law are offended when their kids choose Grandpa over them, but who wouldn't? It's Grandpa! Quite possibly the most engaging, loving, caring, considerate,and dependable Dad in the world. Perhaps I'm biased but I'm convinced I got the best one.

One year!!

We were able to celebrate Jack's birthday at the beach with all the Cannons. It was a perfect setting. I thought twice about planning a big party for a one year old because Sadie was so cranky at her first birthday party. It was the same for Jack. I made a cake for everyone and a little bundt cake for Jack. After being at the beach all day with only a few cat naps, by the time we finished dinner and rolled out the cake, Jack was completely spent. He was annoyed with the ridiculous hat I made him wear and wanted nothing to do with his cake. We are 0 for 2 as far as kids eating their birthday cake goes. Sadie wouldn't eat hers either. Even after Sadie stuck some frosting in his mouth with her finger, he was still unconvinced. Chase whisked him off to bed and the rest of us ate the cake.

Besides ending in tears, his day was quite a splendid one. He woke up next to us in his pack n'play and we immediately sang to him. He spent the day playing with the sand, swimming in his baby pool, taking naps in our arms and wrapped up the day hanging out in the hot tub. I thought it was kind of cool that we spent the day at the beach for Sadie's first birthday (because we lived in San Diego) and Jack was able to experience that as well.



Jack continues to explore whatever possible. He has always loved the dish washer but now has learned to climb up on the drawer while banging all the plates within. He takes all the spoons out and throws them below the bottom tray. It's a little annoying but I love watching him try everything and anything. That is, when it doesn't include exploring the toilet which he would do in a heart beat. Sadie often forgets to flush and I found him in her bathroom with his fingers splashing around in her urine filled toilet bowl. Good times!!

I've never been a diaper genie kind of person. The idea of having human feces just hanging out in a baby's room has always grossed me out. Instead we just throw a dirty diaper down the stairs and take it outside to the garbage can once we leave the house. These flying diapers happen to be Jack's favorite toy. If he sees a diaper sitting by the front door, be will speed crawl,banging his little knees on the ground to get to the diaper before Mom takes it away. He puts a piece of diaper in his mouth and carries it around like a dog. Totally gross!! We have remedied the problem by wrapping a days worth of diapers in a tightly tied grocery bag. That eliminates the smell as well.

My favorite Jackism will always be his snuggles. He loves to snuggle and always gives the best hugs!! I have to be careful sometimes because he likes to give head butts and will often butt a little too hard. He loves sticking his fingers in my mouth and usually giggles a little when I pretend to bite them. I love putting him to bed because he immediately rests his head on my shoulder and nuzzles up to me. About every 30 seconds, he'll look up at me, give me a head butt and another snuggle. It's absolutely dreamy and the favorite part of my day!!

For such a sweet and mellow little guy he gets REALLY angry when you take something away from him(like a dirty diaper) or stop feeding him to answer the phone or keep Sadie from falling off her chair. He demands quite a bit of attention and now that he's close to walking he'll hang onto my pant leg wherever I am standing.

He gets a big grin on his face whenever we see a puppy and LOVES Sadie's stuffed dog Clifford (which is a BIG problem because Clifford sleeps with Sadie every night and she's extremely attached). Sadie has been pretty good at letting him cuddle with Clifford every once in a while, but once she takes him away, Jack screams and has sometimes been known to slap and hit her until she gives him back. He usually grabs the dog, puts him on the ground and buries his head into his matted fur with a sigh. It's even cuter that when he does this he ALWAYS taps his right foot on the ground. Poor Sadie has learned that sometimes it's better to just let him have Clifford than hear the screams and be slapped.

Probably his biggest accomplishment was being over 20 lbs so we could face him forward in his car seat. When weighed at the doctor's office he was just over 20 lbs and 30 inches in length. He's 80% for height and 20% for weight. Tall and skinny just like Grandpa!! His little legs actually remind me of my Dad's. He seems to enjoy the car much more now that the air conditioner can reach him. It was great timing seeing that we took a 6 hour drive down to the Outerbanks. I love looking in the back seat to see my two little kids smiling (sometimes screaming)faces. I still can't get over the fact that I am a mother of two.

He still needs to be entertained while he eats. His toys usually consist of either a band aid box (taking the bandages out and putting them back in), mom's wallet, and his water bottle straw that goes up and down. While playing with these strange objects we slyly sneak his baby food into his mouth. He LOVES Veggie booty, Ritz crackers, gold fish, and Ice cream. When we were at Costco the other day Jack was getting fussy and I had forgotten to bring any snacks. I ended up giving him anything that they were sampling that day. This included ice cream, veggie straws, pizza, and chocolate Cheerios. He's getting a WAY earlier introduction to treats than Sadie.

I've caught him standing a couple of times. He's on his way to walking but speed crawls as his main mode of transportation. He has recently learned to turn around when coming back down the stairs. This is HUGE because I no longer worry about him hurting himself. He's never been one to lunge himself down the stairs. He's actually never tried going down face first so the gates aren't always necessary. He continues to snort and breath VERY loudly when we chase him up the stairs or while he chases a ball. I can't hear that little snort enough. He scrunches his little nose, bares his vampire fangs and snorts loudly like a grown pig.

With his new front teeth coming in (finally) he's been pretty sleepy. The other day we put him down at 7 and he slept until 10:30 the next morning. When this happens he usually just gets one nap that day. He's a little in between the one nap two nap schedule. I'm looking forward to the one 1:00 nap so we can actually leave the house every once in a while. He's not the kind of kid to scream when I put him down. He just lays down and if he decides not to sleep he just sings in his crib for a while. What a delightful child. I am so glad I've had this year of getting to know another one of our heavenly father's precious spirits. I like to think he's one of God's favorites;-)

Don't let that face fool you

Behind those chubby cheeks and dreamy eyes lurk some pretty sharp fangs. Sadie got her fangs before her two front teeth as well. We aren't sure whose side of the family this delightful trait comes from. We just call him the little vampire around here. Considering the ridiculous twilight craze, he fits right in.

P.S. After a year of nursing, he has only bitten me once. Not bad for a little vampire.

We have a four year old!!

Today Sadie asked me if it was still mother's day to which I responded "no", she shot back with "well then I can do whatever I want." I guess we only have to be nice to Mom on Mother's Day. I feel like Sadie woke up and decided that because she's four, she's in charge. With her "diva-esque" personality comes some funny little stories:

Today while we were at Target, she ran up to the sliding doors and yelled, "ABRE"(open in Spanish) and was delighted to see that they obeyed her request. A few minutes later she needed to go to the bathroom and couldn't figure out why yelling "ABRE" wasn't opening the door. I had to help her with that one.
Her little Spanish words crack me up. She'll just throw a couple in there like tonight at dinner. She was explaining how her glass slippers with heels kind of look like slides. One slide goes down, abajo, and the other goes up....ariba. You gotta love that Dora the Explorer.

Speaking of Dora. We record them on the DVR and sometimes some commercials get on there. I was amazed at how well the marketers got to my little girl. She came into my room one morning asking me for some Lelli Kelly shoes with the eye shadow, the lipstick and the mascara, just like the ones on t.v. I used to be able to take her to a store and she would be ok if we didn't buy anything for her. Lately she wants EVERYTHING!! She'll look at My Little Pony pamphlets and explain to me that she doesn't have any of THOSE ponies and needs to get them. I told her she needed to make some more money so she could buy some more ponies and she responded with "but mommy, I don't know how to drive." I guess obtaining the money is no problem, it's getting to the ponies that's got her in a rut.

My mom gave her some new Sunday shoes and no matter how much I tell her they are just to wear on Sunday's I always find her wearing them. When I told her to take them off she said "but mommy, they are just too beautiful. I just can't resist." She says the same thing when her eyes itch and I tell her to stop rubbing her eyes; "Mommy, they just itch SO bad. I just can't resist!!"
I gave her some My little Pony Fruit snacks the other day and she ate a couple and put the rest aside. When asked what she was doing she replied "they are just too beautiful to eat."


Sadie had a friend over the other day and she was talking about private parts (she has an older sister). I thought I had at least a few more years before I had to start discussing human anatomy. I overheard them and announced that we don't talk about those things in our house. Noticing the similarity of the words Sadie said "but we can say Virginia, and Utah, and South America, right Mommy?" Hopefully we won't have to discuss that for a few more years. We'll just keep saying "Virginia...., Utah and South America."

Her prayers sound a little like this: "Heavenly Father, thank you for this day, thank you for this beautiful family, bless Heavenly Father..he loves us, bless Jesus...he loves us too. Please help Jack, he's a poom pom. Please bless Daddy that he will get home safely and he's home now safely. I love my ponies and M&M's. Thank you for my ponies, my Clifford and my bah and bless everything that I love in the name of Jesus Christ Amen."

I try to read to Sadie every day but every time I do, I get VERY sleepy. One such afternoon after reading about an hours worth of books, I asked Sades if we could have a little "quiet time". I immediately zonked on the couch and when I woke up Sadie was standing nearby with a glass of water on the coffee table. As I sat up she said "Mommy, I thought you would be thirsty so I got you some water." Sometimes if we're lucky, Sades will snuggle up with us on the couch for a long afternoon nap. This is a new development. Usually she's WAY too hyper but ever since we've dropped the afternoon nap, she's needed a little snuggle to catch up on some sleep.


Sadie had her friend Lilly over the other day who has an imaginary friend "Mr. Nobody." Sadie obviously loved the idea of having a person around all the time to play with so she invented one of her own. Her name is Binky and she's Sadie's "sister." We've had to get out of chairs that Binky is sitting in. We've had to share out food with her. She asked Chase to watch her while we were at the pool so she wouldn't drown. I'm not sure how long this fetish will last, but it's pretty funny for now.


On the way out the door the other day I motioned Sadie to hurry faster than she was currently walking. She responded "I can't go that fast. I don't have my running shoes on." It doesn't help that eating takes about two hours. I've stopped "feeding her" because she is well over the age of having her mom and dad force food down her throat. She is so used to being probed to eat that meal time has become VERY annoying. We're usually done with dinner and sitting in the other room waiting for her to finish long before she's even started eating. She takes her jolly time and keeps us waiting FOREVER. This is why we are usually RUSHING out the door whenever we have to go anywhere because eating takes 6 hours everyday!! It would be so much faster to feed her on my own. Sometimes I give in on lazy days. Sadie fights hard and has a very determined little mind. Sometimes it's just easier to let her win every once in a while.

When we were eating dinner the other night she of course didn't want to eat the enchiladas I had prepared. We threatened no dessert and an early bedtime and she shot back with "it tastes BLAND to me." How does she even know what that means!!

She calls maxi pads "Lilly Pads" and yells her daily conversation from the bathroom while we are eating dinner. She definitely has an "open door policy." When Uncle Chad was being our "manny" (man nanny) for the night he closed the door while she was going to the bathroom. She immediately chastised him and said she only needed privacy (door closed) for #2 and left the door wide open.


The hardest thing for me to hear these days is "I can do whatever I want." It drives me crazy because she CAN'T. It's like we are already battling with a teenager. She's obsessed with being four and because she's four she's no longer scared of anything, can run faster, and can do "whatever she wants." She also checks the sizes on her clothing when she gets dressed for the day and asks "is this for a three year old or four year old." We've marked all of her shoes with a R for Right and L for Left so she can put them on herself. She changes her outfit a couple times a day and puts together some AMAZING ensembles. She told me the other day "mommy, I have prettier clothes than you." With Mimi providing the wardrobe, she's probably right.



When we watched General Conference on Easter Sunday she was BORED!! Once the session was over she shouted out "FINALLY."


She randomly started talking about pirates the other day. She asked me "you know who doesn't like pink...Pirates. You know who sleeps with quesadillas...pirates." We discovered that she can wink at dinner last week. Pops will be so jealous. Aunt Emily too. Neither of them can wink yet and they are WAY older than four!!

Sometimes when I am running around the house doing laundry or cleaning, Sadie will follow my every footstep. When I asked her why she was following me she said "Mommy, I always like to follow you because I just love you mommy."



She is obsessed with cleaning out the dirt in between her toes and attempted to clean out Jack's toes as well. It reminds me of the monkey's at the zoo that clean bugs out of each other's hair.:-)

Other than the daily timeouts (she covers her ears when she's being disciplined), Sadie's a pretty spectacular little being. She has a ton of personality and I love watching her grow into a little lady. We're doing our best to facilitate a little etiquette along the way. She gets mad at us if we don't raise our pinkies when we drink our water and if we talk with our mouths full. The tantrums we can do without, but we love our little Sadie and wouldn't change a thing about her!!