Life with 4!

Now that I'm feeling better it's time to get back to the land of the living.  Life with four kids is NO JOKE but the funny thing is, sometimes it's really not that bad.  I had once heard that four kids is easier than three and I never believed it until now.  It's not that your load is lighter by all means, but with four kids I've just learned to say no.  Life will go on if their outfits aren't ironed or they don't have the perfect pinterest birthday party.  Sadie dresses herself and goes to school with wet hair some mornings because I'm too tired to help them get off to school.  Chase drives them and that's all I can ask for.  He can't be Sadie's fashion consultant at 6:45 in the morning.  Sometimes Chase gets home from work and I've yet to brush my teeth for the day.  George is still in his pajamas and that's after I've picked him up from playgroup that day.  If we're running late, he goes to playgroup in his pjs.  It's pretty liberating actually.  It's not that I don't care anymore, I'm just not sweating the small stuff anymore.  I also think four kids might be a little easier than three because I have an almost 9 year old daughter who can be a great help at times.  Emphasis on the "can" part of that sentence.  Sadie is so enamored with Eliza, she wants to hold her all the time and sometimes that's all I need so I can make dinner, get dressed or even just go to the bathroom.  

Jack and George have also been pretty easy going about the whole turn of events.  George asks to hold Eliza almost every day and gives her the sweetest smiles.  I'm never worried to leave them in a room alone together for a moment.  In fact, sometimes I'll come back into the room and find him trying to give her a pacifier if she's crying.  He's loves being my little helper too.   

Jack was never interested in holding George when he was born and is the same with Eliza.  It's not that he doesn't like her, he's just such a laid back little dude that he's not overly impressed with the fact that there's a new baby in the house.  I never want to push it but sometimes he will ask to hold her and it's pretty special when he does.  Jack has been a great help with George.  He and George will just play ALL the time together and are such great buddies.  George can't wait to Jack to get home from school so they can play. 

 They've gotten pretty used to watching me feed Eliza all the time and have even become accustomed to seeing me hooked up to a breast pump.  Jack asked to see my "feeding machines" a few times while trying to open my shirt.  He's a curious little thing and I don't blame him.  How crazy that Mom all of a sudden has these huge things that feed his little sister.  I'm just as astounded! I had to snap a picture of them while watching me pump for the first time.  Pretty hilarious!

Eliza's first bath was quite the show for everyone involved.  She was tired and NOT in the mood.  

The only hard part about having four kids (well, there are actually lots of hard parts, but this one is the one that's really hard for me) is the lack of time I have to just enjoy this last little baby of mine.  Some days all I want to do is just sit and stare at her but I can't!  I have lunch to make, homework to be done, laundry (holy laundry!!!) and about a gazillion other things I need to be doing before the house goes to pot.  But every once in a while, the stars align.  I get George down for a nap, nurse my sweet Eliza and just snuggle her until the older kids come home from school.  Little slice of heaven!

Eliza LOVES this pink fuzzy blanket and does not like being swaddled. She doesn't like to be very far away from me either so this is how we sleep sometimes.   

I'm dead beat tired but that's the other thing that's changed with this baby.  With my other kids I remember being so worried about EVERYTHING and did NOT do very well on little sleep.  I think knowing that this is my last baby, I really don't mind getting up to feed her in the middle of the night.  I'm sure I'll change my mind after a few months of this, but I truly miss her when she's been sleeping too long.  I'm really just enjoying every second because I know how fast she will grow up!!

Chase is still and will always be the best daddy ever!  Most nights when Eliza is really fussy, Chase puts her on his chest and she almost always falls asleep.  We call it her "happy place."  It's one of my happy places too.  

Introducing Eliza Jane Cannon

She's here!!!  I can't ever tell you how much we love this little peanut.  We've plastered her face ALL over Instagram and text messages.  We're shouting from the rooftops that our precious Eliza Jane has finally come into the world!  She came in quite a hurry too.  It was Friday the 13th, another superstitious day I didn't want to give birth, and Chase told me he wanted to take me on one last date.  Sweet!!  We decided to go to Jack Allen's and once we got there we were told there was close to a 2 hour wait for a table.  

One of the managers just welcomed a baby into his home as well and took pity on me.  He said I looked like if I stood much longer I would have the baby right there in the foyer of the restaurant!  They gave us a wink and took us immediately to a table!!  What luck!  I've always been a fan of the restaurant but now they are my absolute favorite!! We ate a delicious meal and since it was only 7:00 pm, we thought it would be fun to go to H&M.  While walking around the store I would get sporadic (and painful) contractions but wrote them off because I'd been having them the whole week. Once we got home, I drove the babysitter back to her house.  Then we thought it would be fun to watch some Jimmy Fallon.  

The contractions started coming every 30 minutes at this point but they weren't too painful so I thought if I went to bed I'd wake up on Valentine's Day and only have to keep her cooking one more day to the 15th.  I laid down and Chase went upstairs to sleep because he was coughing really loud and keeping me awake.  It wasn't just his coughing that kept my eyes wide open.  The contractions were about 15 minutes apart now.  Blasted!!  Why was I going into labor today of all days!!  I texted Chase upstairs and told him not to get too comfortable because we were heading to the hospital.  I texted about 5 of my friends to see who was awake at 1 a.m and immediately heard back from Cyndi Harrison, our RS president.  She was there in a jiffy but by the time she arrived, the contractions had gone away and I was starting to worry I had woken her up in the middle of the night for no reason at all!  Cyndi told us to go anyway, just to make sure everything was ok.  So we went!

The drive to the hospital was dreamy.  Just a few contractions, and not too much anxiety.  I thought for sure this was a false alarm.  I was 2 days overdue but that didn't mean I was having a baby tonight.  I did get one BIG one right before we pulled in and that made me grateful we had listened to Cyndi and left. We walked into the emergency room and told the lady at the desk that we "thought we were in labor" but were pretty sure we weren't.  She asked if I needed a wheel chair and I said no.  I felt just fine!  We walked into my room for the night and they hooked me up to the monitor to check Eliza's heart rate and measure contractions.  They monitored me for at least a hour before ever checking my cervix.  Finally they decided it would be a good idea to check and found I was already dilated to the 7!!  

Holy Moley!!  I was totally in labor but totally NOT in pain.  What on earth?!  

I started to panic a little and mentioned that if I were going to have this baby, I needed to see an anesthesiologist pretty darn quick!!  I was reassured that I would be able to get my epidural in time and was very quickly introduced to the doctor giving the shot.  He seemed like a nice guy.  I was also told he was the "chief of staff" in his department, so I felt pretty good about letting him poke my spine with an incredibly large needle.  I knew the drill.  Bend over, freak out a bit, feel the numbing needle and nothing else right?  NOPE!!  I felt a shooting pain into my right kidney area before he told me he was going to have to poke me again because it didn't work.  The second needle made it's way in there without any complications (so I thought) and I was told I wouldn't feel any pain in a few minutes.  

Wrong again!!  I was pretty patient because the contractions up to that point really hadn't been too painful.  Compared to my last deliveries, this was a breeze.  But I was still concerned that I could totally feel my legs and was still able to feel some of the really bad contractions, sporadic as they were.  They attempted to put in a catheter and it hurt so badly, they had to take it out.  They pretty much just emptied my bladder and called it good.  Catheters are THE WORST!!  I never knew how painful they were until I wasn't numb to get one.  

We called the doctor back in and told him I was still feeling pain. He explained to me that this was a "different" kind of epidural that wouldn't necessarily make my legs numb.  It was apparently better because it doesn't make the baby quite as sleepy as the other medicine.  All I knew was that with my other deliveries I was COMPLETELY numb from the waist down and my babies were all VERY alert (almost too alert) when they were born.  I'll take being numb any day!!  Who was this guy?  Don't I, the patient, get to decide how numb I want to be?  I proceeded to tell him my thoughts on the matter and insisted I receive more drugs.  This was after the contractions started to make themselves known!!  I couldn't feel the smaller ones, but even with the epidural (or whatever the crap he gave me) I could still feel the bigger contractions and they were NO JOKE!!  SOOO painful!!  

The doctor gave me another dose of whatever concoction he was brewing and I started to feel a little bit better, but not totally numb, which was disappointing and also very alarming!  Then the OB on call came in.  Dr. Hoverman.  She decided it would be a good idea to "move things along" and break my water.  I was too out-of-it to realize that she would be moving things along in a fashion WAY too fast for my liking.  So, she broke my water and almost immediately I felt MAJOR pressure down there.  Pressure and pain.  I told the OB I felt like I needed to push or poop, or whatever my body was telling me to do.  

Obviously when she broke my water, Eliza's head started popping right out.  They checked my cervix again and said, "yep, her head is right there.  You're going to have to start pushing."  What?  NOOOO!!  I didn't want to start pushing!!  I could feel EVERYTHING down there and was NOT wanting to push her out until the second dose of medication kicked in.  I WANTED TO BE NUMB DAG NABBIT!!  It was at this point I kind of started to freak out.  I kept telling them "I don't want to push yet.  This wasn't supposed to happen.  I can still feel everything.  I don't want to feel everything.  I want to be numb!!!"  I turned to Chase and gave him a look of sheer terror.  I was trying to be polite but all I wanted to do was just scream my bloody guts out.  Chase was a champ and just kept telling me how amazing I was and how much he loved me and how he knew I could do it.  He just kept holding my hand through every contraction and comforted me the best he could.  I knew things were looking grim when a nurse looked me in the eye and said "You can do this!!"  When you're getting pep talks from the nurse, you know you're in for a wild and bumpy ride.   I told the nurse she wasn't going to like me very much after this.  I knew a different Abby was going to emerge and I already wasn't fond of her.  

They moved me down to the end of the bed, placed my legs in the stirrups and got me ready to push through my next contraction. It was through the second round of pushing/contractions that I started to scream, yell and shout "just get her out!!! Get her out of me!!!"  They told me I needed to stop yelling and save my energy for pushing and breathing.  AHHHHH!!  SO MUCH PAIN!!  Finally after the fourth big contraction and round of pushing I could feel her shoulders.  Everyone around me kept telling me "she's almost here, you're almost there".  Chase looked at me and told me it was almost over.  Poor guy.  I think he was probably scared out of his wits.  He doesn't like to see me in pain.  I gave one more big push and out she came screaming.  Sweetest sound in the world. It was incredible!!  There she was!!  There was merconium in the amniotic fluid so they had to whisk her away and clean out her mouth.  I kept asking if she was ok.  They reassured me she was just fine, even though she sounded awfully uncomfortable with a blue bulb down her throat.  Then they gave her to me. My chubby little delight.  I'll never forget that warm little body on my chest.  The whole experience was so overwhelming (Chase called it "violent") that I was still pretty much sobbing from the whole ordeal. 

Chase took some pictures and even though I think I look pretty hideous, I'm so glad he captured the moment.  There's nothing more magical than when you get to hold your baby for the first time.  I swear my heart wanted to jump out of my chest!  It was bursting with love for this tiny little person.  Heaven was near, the veil was thin and I felt God's love for me.  I made it through a pretty horrific experience but I knew it could have been worse and was beyond grateful for this perfect little being in my arms.  

She was perfect beyond words.  My goodness!  I could hardly stand it!!  The most beautiful little baby!  She weighed 7.5 pounds and was 19 inches.  Very healthy.  The doctors were very impressed with her coloring.  Very little jaundice and didn't have to spend any time under the florescent lights.  She was a champion nurser at the beginning too.  Great at latching on and hardly caused me any pain at all.   

While they checked all her vitals, they started sewing me up.  I think they must have forgotten that I WASN'T NUMB because I had to remind them again that I could feel EVERYTHING!!  Geez Louise!!  They gave me a numbing shot down there and heavens to Betsy it hurt!!  I find great comfort in knowing that Eliza is our last child and I will never have to go to such a grueling experience ever again.  

Everyone finally left the room and we were able to just enjoy our new little baby.  We just stared at her.  Chase kept looking at me and saying "she's amazing!"  I couldn't agree more!

The thought came to me that even though she was born on the only day I didn't want her to be born, I was totally grateful she came when she did.  It was perfect for our family.  With all the Valentines Chase and I have made each other over the years, we finally made the greatest one of all.  Eliza Jane!!  Our perfect little Valentine! 

I had Aunt Eliza send the heart outfit she wore as a baby, just in case Eliza decided to come on v-day.  She looks amazing in hearts!

Love at first sight!

Sadie finally got her little sister!!

We arrived at the hospital around 2 a.m. and delivered Eliza at 5:27.  Very fast delivery.  Because she came out in just four rounds of contractions, she had a perfectly round head and zero marks on her face.  She was doing great after delivery but I wasn't feeling too hot.  Around 11 that morning, I started to get some pretty severe neck and lower head pain.  I've had headaches before, but this was a MAJOR headache.  It was alleviated if I laid down which was hard to do while trying to feed Eliza and feed myself.  The pain would come and go and initially I thought I had strained some muscles in my neck while pushing.  It wasn't until the kids came to see me that the pain became rather unbearable.  

I was so happy to see all of the other kids but was still having a hard time focusing on anything but the pain in my neck.  I had to turn my whole body if I wanted to see right or left.  George wanted to snuggle and that's all I wanted to do, but eventually told Chase I needed to lie down.  

Joann and Matt Severson brought baby Kate to meet Eliza too.  The room was full of fun, happy people and even though I was so excited to see everyone I couldn't help but start crying from the pain in my neck, upper back and head.  Sweet Joann who had just had a baby too started massaging my back in hopes that it would help a little.  It felt amazing but didn't touch my headache.  Everyone eventually left.  Chase took the kids home and Joann raced home to get me a heating pad.  We really thought that I had strained a muscle.  I couldn't imagine anything else had happened.  After everyone left, I just started bawling to the nurse.  I had never had such a bad headache.  She got me some pain meds and this time told me to take two.  I had been taking Ibuprofen, muscle relaxers and hydrocodone.  Nothing was working!!  I'd never had pain that wouldn't go away with medication.  This was crazy!  The stupid anesthesiologist came in and told me I might possibly have a spinal headache caused from leaking fluid into my spine.  He admitted that he never saw fluid leaking when he gave me the epidural (ya right) but said I could still possibly be leaking spinal fluid from the faulty epidural (which didn't work...remember?!!).  

He told me if I was leaking fluid I needed to get a "blood patch."  A what?  What the heck was a blood patch?  He explained that there could be a punctured hole in my spine and that it would eventually heal itself but could take up to two weeks to do so.  The blood patch would fix it immediately.  They would have to take blood from my right arm and inject it into my spine.  The blood would then coagulate and clog up the hole.  No hole, no more headache.  

I had just had two faulty epidural needles in my spine.  I wasn't about to get a third. I told the doctor I wanted to wait to see how I felt the next day, hoping that if it were a muscle strain, I would feel better in the morning.  The two hydrocodine must have kicked in because I could sit up again and was feeling a little bit better.  Chase called our home teachers and they came to give me a blessing.  At that point I thought I was magically healed because it had been a few hours, the meds had worn off and the pain was pretty much gone. I was able to fall asleep and Chase got to snuggle Eliza for a while.   

I was so glad I didn't get a blood patch.  I obviously didn't need one.  Right?  

WRONG!!!

Melissa came to see me the next day and accidentally told me that George had thrown up that night.  What?  Great timing my sweet little George.  A part of me was aching to be home so I could snuggle and take care of the poor little guy, and the other part of me wanted to keep Eliza and me as far away from him as possible.  So even though we were planning on being discharged early that day, I decided it would be best to stay one more night and let George's virus run it's course.  Melissa was so kind to watch our kids but we didn't feel she needed to stay another night.  She had already cleaned up George's puke one night.  We didn't want to make her have to possibly do it again.  

Because I was feeling better, I sent Chase home with the kids and got ready to sleep in the hospital that night alone with Eliza.  I had never slept in a hospital alone before but because we didn't have Grandpa or Mimi in town, Chase felt he needed to send cousin Melba home and be there for the kids.  Everyone had been so helpful with the kids that day.  Cyndi slept there and fed them breakfast.  The Steigers took over so she could go home and watched all of the kiddos the entire day until Chase picked them up to come to the hospital to visit me.  It wasn't too bad sleeping in the hospital alone. I asked the nurses to take Eliza for a little while and they brought her to me to eat a few time during the night.  I just loved snuggling with her in my bed.  It was heaven!!

Did I mention that this baby came out and started "smiling" almost immediately?  She even giggled in her sleep a few times.  It's the cutest thing ever!!!  

The next morning, I was feeling pretty good.  Things were looking up right?

WRONG!!

I had all these plans to decorate her crib with valentine hearts and take some pictures with my good camera.  As I was setting it all up, my stupid headache started to come back again!  I thought I was out of the woods dang it!!

As I was setting Eliza up for her little photo shoot, I started to get really dizzy.  Eliza started to cry so I was holding her but managed to get to the nurse's button before I felt like falling down.  I started to get really hot and clammy when the nurse came in and made me lay down. They took Eliza away and told me I needed to rest.  I must have looked so stupid trying to take such frivolous pictures!  My body was breaking down again and I totally lost it.  I thought I was getting better and here I was with that horrible headache and neck pain again.  

I really wanted to go home but wasn't sure it they would let me in my current state.  I had to turn my entire body if I wanted to look right or left again and was flat on my back because the pain medication only made me sleepy but didn't alleviate the pain.  Chase came back to the hospital to help me get ready to go.   He also took more pictures of Eliza for me since I couldn't sit up or get out of bed.  So frustrating!! 

We got Eliza all dressed up in her snugly outfit.  It turned out to be a pretty chilly Valentine's Day so I was glad I packed something warm for her.  I couldn't decide what I wanted her to wear home so I packed about 10 different outfits along with the multiple hats I crocheted in my "I'm going crazy waiting for this baby to be born" phase of pregnancy.  This hat was the winner.  It fit her head perfectly and she looked totally ready for the windy weather that was to greet her.  

Love how big that pacifier looks against her tiny little face.  

Under the assumption that I had strained something and that I would feel better in the morning, I decided to leave the hospital.  I couldn't wait to be home in my own bed and not have to worry about our three other kids. I left the hospital with that dang neck pillow around my neck and me trying to recline in that wheel chair as much as I possibly could.  The drive home wasn't very fun either.  I seriously had the worst pain if I wasn't completely lying down.  We stopped at HEB to get all my medications and headed home.  I thought this would be the beginning of me feeling better but I was wrong again. 

 

I was so excited to see the kids and all I wanted to do was hold them, read them books and hear about their time while I was away from home, but I couldn't stand up and headed straight to bed. Poor George was needing a serious snuggle.  When I wasn't feeding Eliza, he would just come lie on me with his bah and fingers in his mouth.  A part of me thinks his sickness might have been triggered by stress.  Try to imagine; he wakes up on Valentines Day and not only are Mom and Dad gone but there's a strange woman in his house making pancakes and pretending that everything is just handy dandy.  Then she leaves and another woman he barely knows comes to stay at our house.  No wonder he threw up.  Poor little dude couldn't find his parents!!

Because I couldn't sit up I fed Eliza lying down and if Chase wasn't around to burp her, she would just sleep sitting up against my chest.  We were both pretty sleepy from the pain medication and the whole "being a newborn" thing.  The only way I could see her face was by aiming my camera down at her and taking pictures.  Sweet little Eliza Jane!  I still can't get over how amazing she was through this whole ordeal.   

Sometimes we would just sleep side by side and I got to stare at her face until we both drifted into the land of z's.  She's such an angel!

I posted something on instagram about my headache and needing a physical therapist to come to my house.  I received several responses from friends that had also had spinal headaches.  ALL of them told me to get a blood patch.  Katherine Winegar went as far as to personally message me to tell me that I NEEDED to get a blood patch THAT DAY and I shouldn't delay it any further.  I was just so scared the Dr. would mess up my spine even more.  The thought of going to the hospital again also gave me the willies.  Needles, hospitals and blood are my least favorite things and these were all involved in me getting a blood patch.  Katherine drove down from Georgetown to bring me a meal and pleaded with me to go to the hospital. She even offered to watch my kids so I would go right then.  I told her I was sure I would feel better the next day.  Who was I kidding?  No one but myself, obviously!

I was really sad I couldn't take Eliza to her 2 day check up with Dr. Woods.  Chase took her on his own which just about broke my heart.  She had already gained back her birth weight and had zero jaundice to worry about.  What a little champion!!  I hated that I was missing out.  I felt like even though she was only a few days old, I was still missing it!! I needed to get better and SOON!!

Upon hearing I was needing a physical therapist to come to my house, my sweet Jen came over to give me a massage.  She was sure that if my pain was from a muscle strain, she could get it out and make me all better.  Love this woman sooooo much!!  I went to bed feeling a little better that night with high hopes that I would be as fit as a fiddle the next morning and ready to be a mom again.  

Only problem is I felt 10 times worse when I woke up the next day!!  Instead of using two pillows to prop me up I could only handle the elevation of one.  The pain was getting worse by the minute and I was sure my head would explode!  It got to the point that I was terrified to go to the bathroom and would hold my bladder until I was on the brink of an accident because standing up to walk to the toilet was absolutely excruciating!!  I would get extremely nauseated and have to run back to bed before I would throw up.  

It wasn't until I realized I couldn't do ANYTHING without pain anymore that I decided to bite the bullet and head back to the hospital.  

The blood patch was just as horrible as I thought it would be. Sorry for being dramatic, but it was.  Stella offered to come over and watch our kids so Chase could drive me over there.  I tried to be polite to greet her when she arrived but I was pretty much a hysterical mess! I couldn't stand up, even though I tried, and was just bawling with gratitude that she was there to help us.  Where the FREAK where my parents!!  Thank goodness for the incredible people in my ward who stepped in to help when we were pretty desperate and at the end of our ropes!!

The drive to the hospital was HELL.  I couldn't recline the seat enough to alleviate the pain so I pretty much had my feet at the top of the windshield as I moaned the whole way there.  We almost pulled over a few times because I thought I was going to puke, but FINALLY made it there.  It was only a 5 minute drive but it felt more like an eternity.  The hospital staff knew I couldn't sit up so they brought out a stretcher and wheeled me into the operating room.  How pathetic was I?  I had to wear sunglasses because the lights were WAY too bright and only made it worse.  The anesthesiologist took one look at me and said "I can see from your glasses to your having to lie down that you have a spinal headache."  I made sure the same Dr wasn't there that gave me my initial epidural. I didn't care who did the blood patch as long as it wasn't Dr. Taylor! He was such an idiot he couldn't even tell me for sure that I had a spinal headache and never admitted that he saw my spine leaking fluid when he gave me the epidural.  He could have saved me 5 days of agony!  

The new doctor and a sweet chubby nurse with braces took me into the OR after I answered all their questions and they confirmed (based upon my answers) that I did indeed need a blood patch.  And just as I was told, they took blood from my right arm and injected it into my spine.  It felt cold, strange and very foreign.  Whoever thought to put blood into your spine?  So weird but so ingenious!!  The sweet chubby nurse with braces gave me the biggest, snuggliest and warm hug while they injected the blood.  Even though it was horrific, that hug felt amazing.  They had to do it pretty quickly because I had to sit up for the procedure and sitting up, as you well know after this lengthy blog post, was anything but comfortable.  

After the surgery was done, they laid me down and waited a few minutes.  Then the doctor told me it was time to sit up to see if I were feeling any better.  I was too scared to sit up.  I was worried that my head would still hurt and that we were talking neurological issues and other doctors to see down the road.  I was sooooo scared that the blood patch wouldn't work for me.  But she sat me up anyway and I can't even tell you how amazing it felt.  I still had a little neck pain, but I could feel it gradually going away.  I LOVE BLOOD PATCHES!!  Such an amazing procedure.  I only wish I had gotten one while I was already at the hospital when Eliza was born.  

Actually, you know what I REALLY wish.  I wish I had gone with my initial feeling to have Eliza induced Tuesday the 10th.  I had an appointment that day but after talking to my parents and finding they couldn't come that particular day due to hair appointments and birthday parties (I know right?), I decided to cancel the induction and let Eliza come on her own.  Dang it.  I'm old enough to think for myself and I should have listened to MYSELF!!  If I had gone in on the 9th, I'm pretty sure Dr. Taylor wouldn't have been the anesthesiologist on call.  I would have had my own OB deliver the baby and this whole horrific experience wouldn't have happened.  My parents couldn't come to help when she was born anyway so I shouldn't have scheduled it around them. Perhaps it was meant to be.  Perhaps not.  But I got my Valentine baby and quite a story to tell too!  I take great pleasure in knowing Eliza is my last child and I NEVER have to deliver a baby EVER again.  

Lizzie texted me after all was said and done and asked me to send a picture of myself sitting up and feeling better so she would be able to sleep that night.  I asked her if the following picture eased her worrying at all: 

I looked like a train wreck but I was the happiest homeless looking lady in town because I WAS sitting up and enjoying every second of my new found strength and freedom.  I could feed Eliza and look down at her chubby cheeks with adoration and not desolation.  I was myself again and even though I hadn't showered, was totally sleep deprived and mending bed sores, I was one grateful lady.  

Grateful for my amazing husband who is the real hero of this story.  He did it all!!  He took Eliza after each feeding, burped her, changed her and put her to bed.  He brought me food when I was hungry and filled up my water bottle when I was parched.  He ran the entire household on his own.  He cared for all our children.  Fed them, put them to bed, did homework, took them to school and on top of all that, he cared for his invalid wife!   He cleaned up George's vomit in the middle of the night (yep, he threw up again!) and then diarrhea upon smelling a foul stench from G's room a few hours later. And just when he thought he could finally lay down to rest, he had to change Eliza's blowout up her back at 4 a.m. too.  I'll never forget this terrible night when I looked over at him changing Eliza's pajamas as he exclaimed "I think the world is conspiring against us!!"  It really was very bleak! Vomit. diarrhea and mustard poop all in one night! This was just one of the hellacious moments that Chase endured for the sake of our family.  It was so hard to watch him work so hard while I just laid there.  He's my everything and I couldn't have asked for a better partner in life.  

So here's to sitting up, a warm snugly baby, no more pain and a bright future ahead for us all.  Things can only go up from here!