Here's what I think so far....

Texas is quirky. While driving down the road I see billboards with a sad unfortunate man behind bars that reads "Get out of Jail? Call 777-7777." It's super clever but not as clever as the names of restaurants. I've seen a Cheddars (wow, give me some of them dimples right over here), Chuy's (nastified thought comes to mind of a dog chewing on a bone), Pluckers (I don't even have to explain how grotesque this sounds if you're ordering chicken), Tenderloin Tavern (Can we stop naming our restaurants after body parts of the animals we already feel bad slaughtering), and the police officers have the word "Constable" on their cars. It totally cracks me up. Chase and I always salute to them in our thickest accent impersonation..."Howdy do Canstble Jones." Sadie has caught onto the whole "make fun of the accent" thing and contorts her little face while she sings "Deep in the heart of Texas." We're trying to teach her to say Texas like George W and it's taken some time, but she's almost up there with the Will Ferrel impersonation.

Now, lets talk about the bugs, snakes, and ROUS (rodents of unusual size). Our first week here Jack got bitten by a few fire ants. Of course I wasn't there (it wouldn't have happened on my watch), and discovered a few pussy white zit like bumps on his hands and knuckles. I am a picker, popper person and when I see a zit, ingrown hair, or anything related I want to see the magic happen. Chase used to get mad at me for picking Sadie's cradle cap when she was a baby. I was a picker then and I am probably more fanatic today. It took every ounce of self control to not want to pop those fire ants bites.

I eventually couldn't stop myself and popped the little buggers and was disappointed to find that they didn't release any puss at all but just left a little crater in his hand. The kids are monitored from now on when they play outside. I HATE FIRE ANTS!! Poor little Jack. Sadie and the rest of us have still been spared of their cruel lashes. We have also been spared of the so called Chiggers that are like microscopic ticks. Oh goody!!


We went to visit some friends in the ward who live just down the street from us. Their home backs up to the green belt and they have a beautiful view of the green rolling hills. But with that view comes some disadvantages. When we arrived at their home they had just discovered a baby rattlesnake on their front doorstep. Her husband was in the process of decapitating the poor thing with two shovels and rain boots. Emilee later told me that she caught her 4 year old twins racing up the street chasing a tarantula. Holy crap!! If I saw one of those things in the wild or with in ten feet of my house I wouldn't be sleeping for weeks!! Emilee also said that after doing some dishes, she found some scorpions at the bottom of her sink. I have since decided that a view of the greenbelt is highly overrated. I'll take my backyard with it's little fire ants.


Chase was getting to the bottom of a nearby barking dog and while jumping our backyard fence was surprised to see what looked like an over sized rat scaling the fence as well. It was a possum. They have a cute name and it's cute that Mom always asked if we were "playing possum" while pretending to be asleep, but there is nothing cute about these nasty over sized rodents.

I hope I haven't scared any of you out of a visit to the wild, wild west. We haven't seen one scorpion, spider, or snake near our home so come on down for a visit. When you're all freezing your buns off in your own state, think of us roasting in Texas with the fire ants.