A Decade...

It's hard to believe it's been ten years since I entered the MTC. I was reminded today on facebook by some of the other missionaries in my district. I don't know if it's being pregnant or if I'm am just cursed with an unstable amount of emotion, but just thinking about that day puts a huge pit in my throat. The same wretched feeling occurs when I read the letters he sent me over that 18 month period of time. This is not to say I wasn't ready and willing to serve a mission, but having known Chase for two years leading up to that day made it VERY hard to leave.

I'll never forget the night before when I was set apart by the stake president. Chase and I went for a drive a few hours prior to President Clark Hinckely's arrival. We didn't go up the canyon for one last "filling of the tank" so to speak, but we did drive up Emigration Canyon, got out of the car, and just hugged for an hour straight. I never wanted to let go!! I literally felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest and I knew that in a short 30 minutes I wouldn't be able to hug my best friend for another 18 months. I hate to be dramatic but looking back, I really don't know how I got through saying goodbye to him.

The next morning I had to say goodbye. Chase came over and it felt so awful to not run into his arms for a squeeze. He helped me pack a few last minute things in my room and then I had to get in the car. My Dad snapped the photo above right before I headed down the stairs. Aren't we a pathetic looking lot? I love that we are about an inch apart but nothing more:-)

Oftentimes I wonder why we put ourselves through such agony. We were in love. Why didn't we just get married? Knowing how much I would miss him then, I probably would have thought twice about sending in those papers. The overwhelming urge to serve and the amazing spirit I felt when deciding to go couldn't be denied. I'm sure God would have been pleased either way, but maybe getting married would have robbed us of the knowledge that through the atonement of Christ even the most miserable of heartache can be healed. We wouldn't have those treasured 18 months of letters, the experience of supporting one another through our trials, and the realization that we really were welded souls, not to be separated EVER again!!

I don't know a better man than my Chase. I'm so glad he's sitting next to me right now and that he'll be at my side forever and ever. Funny that we were apart for 18 months and some days I can barely stand for him to go to work in the mornings. Those 9 hours are just too long!!